“hey guys! can I have some rights too?”

The Skinny

Scientists studying dolphin behavior have suggested they could be the most intelligent creatures on Earth after humans, saying the size of their brains in relation to body size is larger than that of our closest relatives, the chimpanzees, and their behaviors suggest complex intelligence. One scientist said they should therefore be treated as “non-human persons” and granted rights as individuals.(Phys-org)

Dolphins are both smart and delicious. In one example a wild dolphin in rehabilitation was taught to tail walk a useless party trick for picking up chick dolphins. After it was released it began teaching other dolphins who then learnt the maneuver without any reward whatsoever. Furthermore, dolphins have also been able to use a mirror to both recognize themselves and inspect other parts of their body. The studies further go on to say that in terms of brain size, dolphins are smarter than primates. I have never in my life seen a dolphin toss its feces at another creature then laugh and smell its finger. But then again dolphins don’t have hands.

The neocortex and cerebral cortex of the bottlenose dolphins were particularly large and the cortex had similar convoluted folds to those found in human brains and strongly associated with intelligence. Cortical folds increase the volume of the cortex and its capacity for interconnections to form. Marino said the findings on brain anatomy and intelligence of dolphins mean we should re-examine the treatment of dolphins, especially when their treatment results in suffering. (Phys-org)

In Summary

So with all that perhaps one day we will be riding the train to work next to dolphins and perhaps even engaging in potentially risky sexual behaviour with them. Perhaps they will start beating us at sports like darts, or bowling, or even soccer. Actually forget all that, they are trapped in their watery prison so they can suck it. Oh and don’t eat dolphins, they are way to chewy.