Zombies, Meteors, and Robots? who cares, I just made nachos in my Vivos APOCOLYPSE SHELTER. Is the world going to end in 2012? If it does I will owe you $100. Using Granny magic a twenty sided die and a shadow seeking groundhog, some scientists have interpreted the Mayan calender ending to signify the end of the world. The Mayans on the other hand believe the end of the “Long count” to be a time of celebration. The calender itself has ended multiple times before in fact. In any case, if you need a way to trick that girl of your dreams to give her last romp in the hay with your ugly self, convince her to enter THE VIVOS APOCOLYPSE SHELTER. Together you may re-emerge to spread your alarmist genetic seed across the planet. On the Vivos website is a ticker counting down to the end of the world as we know it and also the time you have left to prove your idiocy by buying one of these. Vivos also showcases all the potential disaster scenarios peppered with stock photos of loving families and sunrises. With around 20 shelters peppered across the states it will cost you a mere $50 000 to secure a spot with Vivos in their $10 million, 200 person shelter with enough supplies to last you one year. so far about 1000 applications have been submitted. Other than an awesome reality show with slutty girls and fist pumping idiots I can’t imagine a use for this. All the same, if the world really does end save me a spot…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T9heta_qLI

via: PhysOrg, Vivos

A Russian mathmetician, Grigory Perelman 43,  living in his mothers tiny cockroach infested apartment has won the Clay Millenium Prize in mathematics for solving the “Poincare Conjecture”. The Poincare Conjecture is one of the world’s most complex mathematical problems and has made scientists everywhere limp in bed from its massive mind bending powers.  Not only has Dr. Perelman solved the elusive problem, but he has also given a Million dollar middle finger to the world saying that he “has all he wants” (yelled through a closed door). Declining the prize saying ”I don’t want to be on display like an animal in a zoo. I’m not a hero of mathematics. I’m not even that successful; that is why I don’t want to have everybody looking at me.”  A total recluse, he has been urged by a local children’s charity in St. Petersburg to accept it and donate it. Instead, I recommend to accept the $1 million dollars and construct a large shiny solid aluminum statue of his bearded self. If that doesn’t do it, he could always invest in 1 million mechanical pencils and continue fighting the good fight on the lonely math front.

Hey smartass try it yourself:

Consider a compact 3-dimensional manifold V without boundary. Is it possible that the fundamental group of V could be trivial, even though V is not homeomorphic to the 3-dimensional sphere?

source via: BBC

If you are not familiar with Technorati, it is a collection of blog’s which all fight to see who has the longest nails and is the best at hair pulling. Various blogs from around the web, fight for a seat in the ranking system provided by technorati.com. Defiance of Science as of today has a front page spot with its article on Aimee Mullins. I highly recomend you check it out! The article itself is given exclusive first on Technorati but will be published soon on its mother site www.defianceofscience.com!

This months issue of Parlour

  If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? Who cares, that tree was turned into parlour magazine!

 03 Defiance of Science, This pseudo-educational website, run by a local school teacher, puts world science into terms that wise-cracking, smart-ass junior high kids can understand, Everybody loves wise-cracking, smart-ass junior high kids, especially ones that are way smarter than you are. Beat ‘em to it. www.defianceofscience.com 

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Also when your done check out Parlour Magazine here!

Get out your flip flops fool! In 2005 a 35 mile rift began to rip open the desert floor in Ethiopia. The newly emerging rift hints at the formation of a new Ocean. It has now been confirmed by several scientists that the process that began in 2005 is indeed creating a new ocean.

 
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Here’s the skinny, at the bottom of the world’s oceans, various processes responsible for continental drift such as sea floor spreading are simply to wet and too deep to study. Now scientists have an opportunity to study this above ground in a process that hints a new ocean will soon develop. Cindy Ebinger, professor of earth and sciences at the University of Rochester says:

that the highly active volcanic boundaries along the edges of tectonic ocean plates may suddenly break apart in large sections, instead of little by little as has been predominantly believed. In addition, such sudden large-scale events on land pose a much more serious hazard to populations living near the rift than would several smaller events

Despite the carnage soon to follow, the thought of drinking margaritas till i’m sick in the new tourist industry that is soon to follow the volcanic destruction is so exciting I think I’m going to vomit in advance.

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More of this is on the way in Finland

The United nations apparently also have an initiative to have porn and WOW access a universal human right. Currently Finland has one of the most connected countries with 95% of the population having ready Internet access. If there is one way to fight the war on sunlight and cardio, it is guaranteed broadband Internet.

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